“I’ve never been to a sex party before. What should my partner and I expect?”

November 3, 2010
By

Although particulars vary by event, in general there are a few things you should expect.

First: There will be people there in various states of undress, perhaps having sex, maybe making out, or dancing. It is, after all, a sex party.

Second: There is usually a social area separate from the “play” area, where you can take a break or get your bearings. Use it. Remember, you’re not required or expected to spend any time in the “play” area.

Third: Whether or not it seems like it, there will be plenty of people there who are just as nervous as you are.

As I said above, you don’t have to play at all. You can wear something sexy, socialize, dance, meet new people, and see what happens. Talk with your partner before the party about what you each want to experience at this particular event. Many couples agree to only be sexual with each other. Others decide they’ll make out and touch other people, but they won’t have intercourse or oral with anyone else. Some couples might have separate adventures, checking in periodically throughout the night. Others only play together. Do what’s right for the two of you and don’t worry about if you’re “doing it right.” Or even if you’re “doing it” or not.

Finally, there are a few points of etiquette:

  • Do be bold in initiating things. After all, that hottie you have your eye on might be as nervous as you are.
  • Don’t be pushy. If you get a “no”, thank the person for their consideration and wish them a pleasant night.
  • Don’t take a “no” personally. People say no for all kinds of reasons, including needing a break, prior agreements with partners, being a mismatch on sexual orientation, kinks, or other preferences. It’s not necessarily you.
  • Do use the safer sex supplies. They’re there for a reason.
  • Do say please and thank you. Manners are appropriate for all occasions. Perhaps most especially when fucking.

Most important is: remember to have fun!

Love,
Marcia

Share

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About


THIS SITE IS AN ARCHIVE OF ARTICLES AND IS NO LONGER ACTIVE
Click the image above for information about it's creator

SanFranSexy is a bi-monthly zine bringing a bulging package of Sex-Positive Culture to your doorstep. Every month we bring you juicy bits of news, events, resources, and advice keeping you in the know about what’s worth knowing in our sassy little town.

SanFranSexy focuses on Sex-Positive lifestyle, with articles like safe sex tips for threesomes, relationship advice for sluts, how to be a gentleman at a sex club, and the importance of eye contact during oral sex. And that’s just for starters.

Brought to you by Polly Superstar, SanFranSexy has a glorious roster of local experts and luminaries contributing their awesomeness to this orgy of good times. Round it all out with a calendar of upcoming events and you’ll be so satisfied you’ll be reaching for a cigarette when you’re done.

Call us old-fashioned, but as well as being available online, this zine is actually printed on paper, and distributed around town to select retail outlets, nightclubs and sexy hot-spots!