Here are a few personal recommendations from me:
- Camp Beaverton for Wayward Girls hosts some really cool workshops on the various flavors of lady love, preparing you with the mad skillz to jump into their women (identified) play parties.
- Comfort and Joy is where the Radical Faeries play- and I don’t mean the kind with pointy ears and wings. They are queer culture with a heart, providing a space for self-actualization and deeper spiritual connection, as well as some seriously hot n horny action!
- Poly Asylum is the place to go if you are looking for advice about non-monogamy or want to find a great polyamory community to widen your poly dating pool! Run by our contributing writer Pepper Mint it’s got a schedule chock full of workshops and parties providing just about everything you could need in the realms of non-traditional relationships.
- And then there’s only LOVE has an air conditioned orgy dome for couples, and a lot of love to share! Its the perfect place to spend those hot afternoons..

See you on the Playa!
Polly

P.S. Happy Birthday to SanFranSexy- we’ve been churning out our sex positive goodness for a whole year! Woot!

The Burningman Issue

Click this link to download the full PDF of the Burningman Issue!

1. Hydration is key: Hydration helps oral and any penetrative sex action.  Remember that a dry mouth means a dry pussy!
2. Sheet sanitation sanity: Lay a sheet over your sleeping area when you leave — it keeps the dust off and makes an inviting place to drag people.
3. Playa crotch is not fun: The Playa is very alkaline and can lead to rashes, bacterial vaginosis, and angry ass syndrome. Lay down a coat or do it standing up.
4. Public indecency risk: Most Black Rock City cops don’t care, but if they do, you could be charged with a sex offence.  Unlikely, but I’m just sayin’ you should watch yourself.
5. Watch for sweet and sexy events: Keep your ear to the ground for the relatively dust-free sexy zones and parties that always happen at BM.
6. Carry baby wipes: Unscented and glycerin-free are the best for your sensitive parts. It’s the least you can do, especially after having sex for multiple days without a shower.
7. Condoms (um, duh!) and gloves: Gloves are nice because then it doesn’t matter if your hands are chapped. (Tip: if you put on lotion, then use a glove, by the time you have finished your fisting you have had a spa treatment for your dried hangnails!)
8. Spray bottles are your friend: Just a spritz helps cool each other off and will rehydrate water-based lube. And you can try silicone lube; it doesn’t dry out.
9. Think about your attire: If you plan on being a fuck bunny think about easy access to your junk. EL wire-crotch harnesses with buttons and rivets are a pain in the ass.
10. Find a friend with a camper with A/C: There is nothing like a midday nap and a shag in the pleasant confines of a camper with A/C.
11. Do stuff you might not do elsewhere: If you always wanted to dress up like a polar bear and force a seal to slither across the Playa toward you begging to be eaten, this is place to explore sexy escapades.
12. Do your sexy thing in an appropriate place: There are plenty of sex camps or places off the beaten path to explore. Stay away from Kids Kamp and Center Camp with your bad self.
13. Don’t get too attached to “Playa Love”:  Don’t take proposals, all-day handholding, and gifts as signs of undying affection. Love them, but in the moment.
14. Playa magic: Rejoice in the fact that you don’t have to call your new peeps in the morning because cell phones don’t work and you may never see that hottie again. But also be aware that you will invariably run into people you know or fucked, over and over again, in front of the glowing hippopotamus or the incongruous lemonade stand way out by the fence. Expect synchronicity.

.

JDelicious is a Freelance sexuality educator with Masters Degree and 15 years of workshops experience. She has taught over 12,000 student in SF in the last 5 years. She is available for workshops and coaching at Wuunderwoman@gmail.com or 415 637 3143

Unfortunately, the playa can exacerbate the problems of nonmonogamy. The heat, exhaustion, and intoxication make for bad decisions and the off-the-grid state of communication out there can exacerbate mistakes. To help head off playa breakups, I’ve put together the following tips for happy playa nonmonogamy. Go ahead and expand your horizons, but take a look at these first.

First, be sure to have the hard relationship talks and make sure everyone’s expectations match *before* heading out to playa. Nobody wants to renegotiate their relationship parameters while coming down from an all-night bender, and trying to change the rules mid-week tends to throw people off-kilter in an already wildly off-kilter environment, assuming you can even find the time or the person involved.

Second, grudging acceptance is always a bad sign, and often results in after-burn breakups when people realize their partner actually went and did whatever was half-heartedly approved of. If the approval you get sounds resentful or vague, then it’s probably not approval at all. Be sure to get very specific about what exactly is okay: flirting? sex? specific types of sex? falling in love?

Third, it is best to err on the conservative side. Your partner or partners are much more likely to be happy if you stay well within your agreements rather than pushing them or skirting around them. Sure, you might miss some opportunities, but if you do this right, you’ll get another chance next year.

This all applies not just to newbies but also to seasoned, polyamorous peeps. Experienced folks are still taken by surprise in the playa crucible and this sometimes resulting in big poly drama. The smart poly Burners I know go through convoluted negotiations around who is sleeping where, which nights are date nights, and social dynamics among partners. If you are looking for nonmonogamy advice on playa this year, feel free to stop by the Poly Asylum camp, where I and some of these poly Burners will be on hand to answer your questions.

Burning Man is a weird and wonderful place where all sorts of mind-blowing stuff can happen. Some things are predictable, however. Here’s what to know ahead of time.

You will fight and it will probably be because you’re dehydrated. If you catch yourselves fighting, doesn’t assume it mean the end of the world. Stop and check your self-care. My camp once had a rule that if you see two people getting snippy with each other, separate them and make them drink water and sit in the shade for a bit. This rule saved several relationships that I know of. Make it your own.

Time works differently on the playa. When you’re making dates with your sweetie, try to schedule them according to the sun rather than the clock. It’s much easier to meet up back at camp “around sunset” than to try to do something at 4pm. Clocks have little meaning in an environment of immediacy, and you’ll only cause yourself frustration if you try to hold someone to the clock.

Expectations will fuck you up. If you think something is going to be a certain way, or your sweetie is going to do a certain thing, you will almost always be disappointed. It is far better to set some intentions, do the best you can, assume others are doing the best they can, take responsibility for getting your own needs met, and then roll with whatever shows up.

There will be eye candy. Lots of it. Sweaty, scantily-clad eye candy. Get clear ahead of time what is and isn’t okay, and what your intentions are in regards to this eye candy. Do you want to make out with strangers together on Threesome Thursday? Look but don’t touch? Plan one day where you go your separate ways and whatever happens happens? Talk ahead of time about what you each want, but don’t push each other’s boundaries. Burning Man is a strange, magical place, but you want to be on speaking terms when you leave. Respect your boundaries and agreements.

For more handy tips, check out the Burning Man Relationship Survival Guide at http://tinyurl.com/bmrship

Talk things through ahead of time, but stay flexible and spontaneous. Be nice to each other and enjoy the ride!

Love,
Marcia

For Burning Man to be a successful journey, think honestly about your desires. What do you want in each moment and for when you look back? Do you know how to communicate it? Can you handle offering a polite no-thank-you, or hearing someone else say right now isn’t the best time? Do you know what you would say yes to? Early attraction is often expressed nonverbally and not always clearly. To avoid confusion, unambiguously express your yum and yuck (kindly!) in the moment.

It may seem obvious, but it’s hard to be sex positive unless you feel positive about sex. Sex positivity needs constant cultivation. Feeling good about sex requires choice, and in exercising choice you will be less threatened by other people’s sexuality. Choice is something others give us and we give to ourselves. Many people still don’t recognize their options as adults. Notice if you are accessing what you want and allowing yourself choice. Are you able to verbally and nonverbally express what you want? Creating choice additionally means looking out for and avoiding people who aren’t going to give you a choice.

Attraction is also not as easy as whether you want to have sex or not. There is a spectrum of ways to be satisfied. Recognize options. If you would like to connect by holding hands and gazing into that hot stranger’s eyes rather than hugging, ask if your new comrade would be open to connecting in that way. People who respect boundaries moreover create the safety to possibly connect more deeply.

Recognize that your mind and body may also have conflicting opinions on the subject. How many times have you been physically juicy but had a zillion reasons why sex was a bad idea? Lack of a condom or birth control, relational commitments, or the lack of a recent shower may be just some of the reasons you decide against it. If your body is hot but you brain is on yellow alert, say so and avoid any confusion.

If you are heading to Burning Man and are not sure you can navigate getting the intimacy you want and avoiding what you don’t want, go to a cuddle party (www.cuddleparty.com) to practice. They are hosted around the Bay Area and other regions. The Bureau of Erotic Discourse (B.E.D.) is another organization offering “Clarity and Consent: Negotiating Sex” playshops at Burning Man. They also teach how to avoid and deal with sexual assault. See you on the playa!

By taking efforts to increase the quality of play FOR ALL PLAYERS on Thee Infinite Gameboard of the Playa, we surely raise our own quality of experience! In ANY given situation, one can always reflect: “are my actions increasing the quality of play for all or just for me?”

Here’s a few tips:
Small gestures such as gracious introductions, genuine smiles, friendly hellos, and simple compliments convey special magic on this potent playing field!
Offer a stranger help in setting up their tent.
Carry small and useful gifts of packaged baby wipes, lip balm, and dust masks to share.
GIFTS take on deeper value when given from a real and personal place. A crappy bottle of tiny bubbles does not stand on equal footing with that of a small collection of your personal writings or art!
The act of receiving can be a very powerful gift when offered in the right time and place!
Deep, heartfelt listening is another very powerful gift you can share.
Sometimes people just need someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, or a good hug!
Be gracious when a gift or offer is not welcomed or received! Just bow politely and walk off. You have no idea what a person might be going through — maybe they just aren’t in the space to receive! BE OK WITH THAT and don’t take it personally!
Be thy neighbors’ keeper.
Don’t assume that if you see someone being hassled by ‘douche-bag’ behavior that ‘The Authorities’ (Rangers, Police…) will step up for them! Bizarre humor and nonsensical observations such as, ‘why, look there, Sir, a floating dirigible commanded by naked Amazons!’ can diffuse matters greatly (or at least provide an effective distraction for a quick getaway) when presented before a charged situation.

ASSUME NOTHING when in the presence of a ‘turned on’ GOD or GODDESS in the throes of ecstatic embodiment! Their divine frenzy is PROBABLY NOT directed at you!
Met someone special? Over communicate regarding your status, and any partners or agreements you have. And when appropriate, what safer sex practices you engage in. Safe is ALWAYS appropriate!

My most excellent friends, may we embody as both fierce AND gracious seekers in our pursuit of Illicit Illumination? Let us raise our glasses and toast to CONSCIOUS DEBAUCHERY!

My favorite way to get into a deeper connection with my body is to pull out some toys, put on some music and create a comfortable nest in front of a mirror. If you struggle with body image issues, the mirror might be hard at first, but what better way to really love yourself than to look into your own eyes and view your own body with love as you give yourself pleasure. I try to mix up the kinds of touch and sensation I give myself, remembering to start slow and caress my whole body and genital area, rather than go straight for the clit. After all, don’t you hate it when a lover grabs your pussy or your cock without so much as a hello or a peck on the cheek?!

Besides taking the time to create the ambiance and warm up my body, I find that remembering to relax and breathe deeply also helps me build the energy more slowly for more exquisite pleasure. I spend time generating love for myself, feeling the warmth in my heart grow along with the warmth in my pussy. This love carries through my day and allows me to have more love for other people too. Really, conscious masturbation is like getting therapy and promoting world peace at the same time!

It’s not that I find time for this type of personal loving every day — and sometimes quickies are nice too. But I think that making the time for slow and loving masturbation is as important for each individual as for couples to find time to be intimate with each other. It keeps the relationship strong and loving, which then juices you up to be a more powerful and compassionate person in the world. Be the change. Consciously masturbate.