Ever notice how easy it is to get into a rut when you’re rubbing one off? I’d like to have a little chat about conscious masturbation and how it can affect the rest of your life. There are all kinds of reasons we don’t take the time to really love ourselves up as well as we expect others too. We’re in a hurry, don’t have enough privacy, or just wanna get off and be done. There is often some residual shame about masturbation, probably because before you were old enough to remember you were most likely told not to play with your genitals. And maybe it feels like something you do when you can’t get lovin’ anywhere else, and it feels like a poor substitute. But it doesn’t have to be!
My favorite way to get into a deeper connection with my body is to pull out some toys, put on some music and create a comfortable nest in front of a mirror. If you struggle with body image issues, the mirror might be hard at first, but what better way to really love yourself than to look into your own eyes and view your own body with love as you give yourself pleasure. I try to mix up the kinds of touch and sensation I give myself, remembering to start slow and caress my whole body and genital area, rather than go straight for the clit. After all, don’t you hate it when a lover grabs your pussy or your cock without so much as a hello or a peck on the cheek?!
Besides taking the time to create the ambiance and warm up my body, I find that remembering to relax and breathe deeply also helps me build the energy more slowly for more exquisite pleasure. I spend time generating love for myself, feeling the warmth in my heart grow along with the warmth in my pussy. This love carries through my day and allows me to have more love for other people too. Really, conscious masturbation is like getting therapy and promoting world peace at the same time!
It’s not that I find time for this type of personal loving every day — and sometimes quickies are nice too. But I think that making the time for slow and loving masturbation is as important for each individual as for couples to find time to be intimate with each other. It keeps the relationship strong and loving, which then juices you up to be a more powerful and compassionate person in the world. Be the change. Consciously masturbate.